Validating Yourself

Sometimes you have to liven up the atmosphere--my thoughts exactly!  So, I added some new color to the mix & "New" bold font.  Is it too much?  Will it keep the readers engaged?  Will it prompt a comment of good or bad, yea or nay?  Let's watch and see.

Self validation, or in other words, Validating Yourself.  That's what is on my mind today, and the last few days really.  It's something my therapist brings up a lot because she knows I struggle with this very thing.  Perhaps it's the personality type that I have or my own character flaws, i'm not sure but I do know it is something that I need to work on.  But what is it...exactly?  How do I recognize it or how do I self validate?  What does that look like in a practical sense?  When i'm self-validating I don't want it to sound like i'm always reading from a script or my personal journal pages, (or my blog--haha).  

        Let me explain and tell you where I am going with this ... 

Unfortunately, i'm not very good with sharing my thoughts & feelings with my significant other & it's been an issue for us over the years. (Please excuse my moment of transparency)  I realize communication is valuable in a relationship, but what if you're not good at it, even terrible?  Does that mean you can't have a relationship, or that you shouldn't?  Am I not worthy of love & respect just because I cannot communicate well outside of work?  What does this mean for my future & my relationship?  I mean, i've gotten this far in life (age 40) and I have survived so many highs & lows already--lack of good communication skills didn't knock me down or take me out but it certainly didn't help.  The lack of solid communicating in my personal relationship & other relationships with friends lead me astray--life without stability, relationship without marriage, and love as a battlefield to navigate.  (I did work through those words carefully so as not to quote word for word the song lyrics by Pat Benatar, go me!)

Briefly taking a look & examining the process of validation starts with the mind.  Think of 2 bubbles overlapping.  On one side it's your emotions, the other side is rationale, and in the middle, overlapping, is the wise mind.  Somewhere in between emotions & rational thinking is the wise part of your brain.  Your brain can sort out your thoughts, but it's you that has to decide when to engage a certain part of your mind.  But wait!  It takes your mind telling your mind to shut down your emotions & think rationally, and it takes your rationality to check your emotional side and start using your brain.  No wonder i'm so mixed up mentally and consumed with anxiety.  My mind is a 100% cluster bomb.  Is yours?  Again--am I alone in these thought?!  How can we check ourselves?  It is so easy to put other people in their place, but I/we can't put ourselves in the right place.  Did I miss something somewhere?  Where did I/we go wrong?  This has me all messed up.  

Clearly this is going to take some time to unlearn the poor communications skills that I have trained myself on and learn new ones that enable me to better communicate my thoughts & the desires of my heart.  I'm happy now, but I want to be whole & complete.  I'm at the starting line ... let's begin the race.  Who's with me?  Who's here to help along the way?  Family?  Friends?  Where is the advice coming from and Who?  Am I running this race alone or with a partner or teammates?  I'll make sure I stay hydrated.  Ready, Set, ... Go!