Chill. Chill. It will all be ok.

 I missed blogging last week.  I was feeling very vulnerable over the past two weeks.  I could only bring myself to write in my journal.  I couldn't put all my deep & personal thoughts in a blog.  I didn't want to frighten the world away.  I was having negative feelings towards myself as a woman, a parent, spouse, friend, and so on, and so on.  

Eventually, I came down from those bad feelings and have come up feeling slightly motivated & on my way to feeling determined until I looked at my calendar for October.  Does that ever happen to you?  You're fine, until you turn the page.  It's like, "why do I do this to myself every month?"  Then I remind myself that I chose this--I wanted to have a family and work, and enjoy life & do the things that make me happy.  What I didn't account for was self care & personal time.  That is where I went wrong.  I was also judging myself harshly for the past.  Life has so many ups & downs, highs & lows--the only thing we get to do is work through it.  We can't choose to never have hard times, but we can choose how we are through those hard times.  We can also prepare for the future.  I wish, I wish, I wish I had a magic crystal ball that told me everything before it happened so I could decide if I wanted to go through it or not.  The only problem with that is I'd probabaly take the easy way out & that would have kept me from enjoying a lot of things.  I would miss out on the fun.  Like the words of the Garth Brooks song says, "Our lives are better left to chance, I could've missed the pain, but I'd a have to miss ... The Dance..." 

Speaking of Dance, I do need a night out.  I realized that after going to a MLB Baseball game Saturday night.  I need a night out away from the house that is surrounded by adults.  I love my daughter's to the moon & back, but my spouse & I need a break from the norm.   We need a night out--what do we do though?  We are 40 & 45, so we're too old for the 'club scene' right?  I need to spend some time thinking about this. 

Y'all let me know what you think.  Have a happy stressful kind burdened loving napping day or evening. 😉